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My understanding of the bible is that remarriage is ok after your spouse dies or if your spouse is an adulterer. And that according to the writings of Paul, divorce is ok if you are abandoned — but not sure that extends to remarriage.

What about sex drive then? I was faced with this situation. My exhusband was an incredibly violent man. After he savagely attacked our then 5 year old daughter, I asked him to leave temporarily until he could get his mental illness and drug use under control.

As much as it hurt terribly to find out he was cheating, and I never sought a divorce he demanded it, and I stayed determined to give him a chance to work things out, right up until the day the court gave him the divorce — I fought it til the end.

It was hard enough in the six years before I married again. I agree, the married twice issue is difficult. So, this could be talking about marriage, it could be talking about adultery.

I just need a little more time. My wife and I actually have discussed this. She promised, with no prompting from me, that if I were to die she would not remarry, she is mine and mine alone forever.

Yeah, I can definitely understand your position. I doubt I would be of much use without a wife as well. Taking into account Jewish laws regarding the mans requirement to satisfy his wife, it poses the question: what did we do to women that makes the current stereotype that they almost need to be tricked into sex?

Because it sounds like they were quite voracious in Biblical times. This is a huge question that no one seems to be discussing.

The Jews of old clearly felt women had a very strong desire for sex. In medieval Europe it was thought that women had a much higher drive than men, and many thought them sexually insatiable.

Christianity is not addressing it at all, and the secular world is barely doing so, and even when they do, they typically do so in a manner that destroys marriages.

As a high drive and often unsatisfied wife, I believe the answer is multi faceted. He seems to be upset that I am not one of those wives who begrudgingly gives sex whenever he needs a vagina rather than his own hand…and the excuse to use his own hand.

I am burning right now because of unmet desires. Keeping busy helps and spending time with the Lord. But sometimes the drive is physically painful and mentally anguishing.

But God is a God of intimacy and promises to supply all our needs according to His riches and glory, so we can rest in the. Is languishing in unmet sexual needs what God desires for us?

I do know masturbation is not his ideal or desire for us. That is the problem with freewill. When you walk around thinking every man is a rapist and sex is something you only do in marriage as a chore to stop your husband from cheating, it damages a person.

Thankfully I never absorbed a word of that rubbish, and even though the church I grew up only preached the evils of premarital sex and never about the good sex of marriage, I somehow learnt from other christian sources.

And because of that, it has never influenced my drive. That sex is something that can be enjoyed and frequently. Thank you for answering me so quickly , but what do I do when I have these desires to want to relieve the feeling within me.

They are so strong and I keep saying the Our Father over and over constantly. These feeling I never had so strong before. I had these feelings now for at least three weeks , please tell me what to do.

I appreciate any advice you and your wife can give me Thank you, Audrey Brown. I think something very simple may have been left out as a response to this question.

How about praying and asking God to remove the desire if no potential marriage partner is in your future? I was single until I was 41 years old and had to seriously wrestle with God over my sexual desires and the desire to have a family when none seemed imminent.

I remember reading the verses on having the gift of celibacy and begging God to not let that be me! Yet I had to deal with my sexuality and desires.

We do not become sexual beings when we are married. We are born sexual beings. So learning how to manage our sexuality in a God honoring way can really be a challenge.

It is not just an issue for teenagers! I prayed for God to send me someone to have sex with. I cried many tears when that was not forth coming.

I then prayed for God to remove my desire for family and sex if that was not in my future. He removed the desire to have children but not the desire for sex and intimacy.

I constantly wrestled with God about this. My prayer life was vibrant! You did not do that Jay Dee and I really appreciate that!

You gave it a lot of thought and said you would follow up on further questions. Thank you for being willing to help people in a position of being a sexual being but having no legitimate recourse for sexual expression at this time.

I married a widower 2 years ago. He was like the men who commented above, he needed a wife and functioned best that way.

We did remain pure but the challenges are different when its two adults who understand what is missing. I was just wondering what your resources are for Paul being a widower?

You can take a few arguments to come to the assessment. I strongest one I see is that Paul was considered the best of the best of Jewish Pharisaic society Philippians , Galatians , Acts Marriage was the norm for Pharisees and was required for rabbis Paul was likely considered a rabbi.

If you want something to read though, a quick 19 page document is Celibacy In Judaism at the Time of Christian Beginnings. It sheds some light on the views on marriage at the time.

My hubby and I have talked extensively about remarriage after the death of either of us. He has told me to wait a year before making any big changes in my life.

I told him that I did not care who he marries, after I was gone, but to be real picky. He would need to find one with very little baggage.

In all seriousness though, it would put either one of us in a very sad scenario, almost unimaginable. Both of us would remarry if there was a death.

In the meanwhile, we will remain faithful and true to one another, just the way God intended. Just wanted to say that I not only appreciate the way you present your information, but also agree with you on the few posts from your that I have read.

This one especially because you refer us to scriptures. I am a 70 something male that has been single for far too many years. My challenges in the area of remaining sexually pure the last couple of years have been greater than any other time I can remember.

By the way, I just stumbled onto this blog today. There is no requirement for you to remarry. Dear Doris, of course you are still grieving!

I seems really unfair for him to pressure you. If God really sent this man to you he will honor God in his actions towards you and will show geniune care and concern for where you are in the grieving process.

As Jay Dee said you are not his release valve. Hi, I became a widow at 41 with two children. I married very young at 17 and stayed married until my husband unexpectedly passed away.

Scripture speaks of being one flesh and physical contact has been proven to affect us at a cellular level. So, imagine not only your mind has been afffected by this loss but your physical body has also suffered the loss of physical touch and intimacy that created the one flesh with which you were joined.

All the little things that made you intertwined and apart of each other. Running your fingers through their hair or scratching their back , it all is missed.

I thought when my husband passed it would never be a problem for me to remain sexually pure. But after my husband had been gone almost a year I have wrestled these feeling at thevLords feet.

God has shown me his strength is perfected in my weakness, I cannot do this alone …. I need him to sustain me. I owed it to myself and to him to be healthy and careful, but my private life was up to me.

I became more open and much less judgy. I went online. It was fun dating a few guys at once. I did what I felt like regardless of any potential for a relationship.

For the first time since I was 17, I was single. I was just going through my single years later than most people do.

I decided to do the experimenting I hadn't done in my twenties. Even my dad was glad I was dating and having fun. He started giving me dating advice.

His opinions on sex apparently varied greatly when speaking to a year-old widow as opposed to his teenaged daughter.

But when he jokingly suggested I buy new lingerie, I told him that was too much! In November , I started dating my current boyfriend. I was tired of having experiences for their own sake.

Within a week I'd stopped dating anyone but my boyfriend. Now we've been together 15 months. My reawakening since my husband died really surprised me.

Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Getty Images. Debbie Weiss I am writing a memoir and anti-advice manual on widowhood.

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Get in peoples faces, take the teenagers, and young adults, and newly married spouses out for tea and talk about life, your experiences, your lessons learned the hard way, what is important in life, in marriage.

I think that could be the single greatest impact in our society today. Our families are being targeted and warn down, but there is too little being done to shore them up.

I sincerely hope this helps. Of course, this is me thinking from outside of the situation, I have no way of knowing what the reality is like. Teach us young people.

Subscribe to get the 2 page PDF full of questions to help you and your spouse start to talk about your sex life.

When married, a sex toy can be used with mutual agreement. Or does this now fall into the fornication category? So, as I read it, yes, masturbation does now fall into the fornication category with or without a toy.

But each much make their own decision and act according to their convictions, do not do something because I tell you.

Read the Bible yourself, question it, wrestle with it, talk to God. Two comments, first I do find parts of the Timothy passage difficult to understand.

Perhaps unfair. It seems to unfairly judge those who were unable to have children and those who have been married twice. If you marry twice and have the misfortune to be widowed twice, why should the church not help them?

I know this is probably a comment no human can answer and we can only ask God the intention behind it. Second is a question for you Jay Dee.

My understanding of the bible is that remarriage is ok after your spouse dies or if your spouse is an adulterer. And that according to the writings of Paul, divorce is ok if you are abandoned — but not sure that extends to remarriage.

What about sex drive then? I was faced with this situation. My exhusband was an incredibly violent man. After he savagely attacked our then 5 year old daughter, I asked him to leave temporarily until he could get his mental illness and drug use under control.

As much as it hurt terribly to find out he was cheating, and I never sought a divorce he demanded it, and I stayed determined to give him a chance to work things out, right up until the day the court gave him the divorce — I fought it til the end.

It was hard enough in the six years before I married again. I agree, the married twice issue is difficult. So, this could be talking about marriage, it could be talking about adultery.

I just need a little more time. My wife and I actually have discussed this. She promised, with no prompting from me, that if I were to die she would not remarry, she is mine and mine alone forever.

Yeah, I can definitely understand your position. I doubt I would be of much use without a wife as well. Taking into account Jewish laws regarding the mans requirement to satisfy his wife, it poses the question: what did we do to women that makes the current stereotype that they almost need to be tricked into sex?

Because it sounds like they were quite voracious in Biblical times. This is a huge question that no one seems to be discussing.

The Jews of old clearly felt women had a very strong desire for sex. In medieval Europe it was thought that women had a much higher drive than men, and many thought them sexually insatiable.

Christianity is not addressing it at all, and the secular world is barely doing so, and even when they do, they typically do so in a manner that destroys marriages.

As a high drive and often unsatisfied wife, I believe the answer is multi faceted. He seems to be upset that I am not one of those wives who begrudgingly gives sex whenever he needs a vagina rather than his own hand…and the excuse to use his own hand.

I am burning right now because of unmet desires. Keeping busy helps and spending time with the Lord. But sometimes the drive is physically painful and mentally anguishing.

But God is a God of intimacy and promises to supply all our needs according to His riches and glory, so we can rest in the. Is languishing in unmet sexual needs what God desires for us?

I do know masturbation is not his ideal or desire for us. That is the problem with freewill. When you walk around thinking every man is a rapist and sex is something you only do in marriage as a chore to stop your husband from cheating, it damages a person.

Thankfully I never absorbed a word of that rubbish, and even though the church I grew up only preached the evils of premarital sex and never about the good sex of marriage, I somehow learnt from other christian sources.

And because of that, it has never influenced my drive. That sex is something that can be enjoyed and frequently.

Thank you for answering me so quickly , but what do I do when I have these desires to want to relieve the feeling within me.

They are so strong and I keep saying the Our Father over and over constantly. These feeling I never had so strong before. I had these feelings now for at least three weeks , please tell me what to do.

I appreciate any advice you and your wife can give me Thank you, Audrey Brown. I think something very simple may have been left out as a response to this question.

How about praying and asking God to remove the desire if no potential marriage partner is in your future? I was single until I was 41 years old and had to seriously wrestle with God over my sexual desires and the desire to have a family when none seemed imminent.

I remember reading the verses on having the gift of celibacy and begging God to not let that be me! Yet I had to deal with my sexuality and desires.

We do not become sexual beings when we are married. We are born sexual beings. So learning how to manage our sexuality in a God honoring way can really be a challenge.

It is not just an issue for teenagers! I prayed for God to send me someone to have sex with. I cried many tears when that was not forth coming.

I then prayed for God to remove my desire for family and sex if that was not in my future. He removed the desire to have children but not the desire for sex and intimacy.

I constantly wrestled with God about this. My prayer life was vibrant! You did not do that Jay Dee and I really appreciate that!

You gave it a lot of thought and said you would follow up on further questions. Thank you for being willing to help people in a position of being a sexual being but having no legitimate recourse for sexual expression at this time.

I married a widower 2 years ago. He was like the men who commented above, he needed a wife and functioned best that way.

We did remain pure but the challenges are different when its two adults who understand what is missing. I was just wondering what your resources are for Paul being a widower?

You can take a few arguments to come to the assessment. I strongest one I see is that Paul was considered the best of the best of Jewish Pharisaic society Philippians , Galatians , Acts Marriage was the norm for Pharisees and was required for rabbis Paul was likely considered a rabbi.

If you want something to read though, a quick 19 page document is Celibacy In Judaism at the Time of Christian Beginnings. It sheds some light on the views on marriage at the time.

My hubby and I have talked extensively about remarriage after the death of either of us. He has told me to wait a year before making any big changes in my life.

I told him that I did not care who he marries, after I was gone, but to be real picky. He would need to find one with very little baggage.

In all seriousness though, it would put either one of us in a very sad scenario, almost unimaginable. Both of us would remarry if there was a death.

In the meanwhile, we will remain faithful and true to one another, just the way God intended. Just wanted to say that I not only appreciate the way you present your information, but also agree with you on the few posts from your that I have read.

This one especially because you refer us to scriptures. We take no responsibility for the content on any website which we link to, please use your own discretion while surfing the links.

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